I don’t know about you, I find in today’s day and age. It is so easy to feel, not good about ourselves and what we do. We are constantly surrounded by media that not’s true, photo shopped pictures and ideals that just don’t sit well with most people. We have an image in our head of what and who we are supposed to be. I know I do and I find that I struggle daily with disappointing myself. I constantly think that I should be doing more, have a clean house 24/7. When I’m sick all I think about is the mountain of laundry waiting for me and the tidying that needs to be done around the house. The activities that I need to get the kids out the door for.
Recently I have been fighting off a flu, while I literally can’t get up to do anything because I’m so nauseous. I sit there and beat myself up, I feel like I’m failing, my kids missed activities because I was sick and completely forgot about them. The house was a mess, who knows if the kids got their homework done or their chores for that matter. I have a very hard time when I’m sick. I can’t relax and I’m always trying to push myself to get up and do something.
Then it dawned on me, why am I placing these expectations on myself. If I am sick, I am sick. Thank god, hubby has been home. He has been letting me sleep and taking care of the kids dropping them off at school and picking them up. Making me food, and just completely taking care of me and everything while he works constantly between conference calls and meetings. He is always telling me to take it easy on myself, just to relax and get better. Then I started thinking, if he’s not putting the pressure on me to the daily tasks that I do, why do I put the pressure on myself. In fact my hubby is always happy with what I accomplish even if it’s only what I consider to be a little bit. He never makes comments if the house is messy or I don’t make dinner on a certain night. He just supports me, always. Anytime I ask for something he will do it, he is absolutely amazing to me and I couldn’t imagine my life without him.
However the way that he loves me and all that I do, made me realize that I need to love my own self the way he does. I need to stop placing doubt on myself daily, and be happy with what I do accomplish. I can only imagine if I start treating myself better, how much better I will start to feel. The way I am to myself is nothing I have ever really thought of before. However hubby and I watched a movie the other night, the main character was brutal to himself. He would talk down to himself about his life and everything he had accomplished. It showed in his marriage and how he treated his kids. Which is what got me thinking about loving myself. Which I then realized how can I love myself if I am critiquing everything that I do. Always telling myself that I didn’t do enough, that more needs to be done. What makes us enter this thought process to begin with? Why do we feel a need to be perfect at everything we do? Or maybe it’s just me! Either way, I want to teach myself positive thinking, to love myself flaws included. Sometimes it’s hard when we have to step back and realize that maybe we aren’t doing some things so well. I don’t know why I have wanted to grow so much in the last year with myself and thinking. Maybe because I’m becoming wiser with age?? or maybe I’m just looking at things in a way I never have before. Either way, I don’t imagine that learning to love everything about myself will be easy, I am determined to find a way. I know that by doing this, it will make me a better mother, wife and friend to all of those around me.
Try and find one thing a day that you love about yourself, see how you feel after a week! Look in the mirror in the morning and tell yourself you are beautiful, regardless of how you feel. Everyone has flaws, those flaws are a part of what makes us unique, so love everything about your self.
Being me, loving you 